Hypothetically, of course...

Hello,

My name is *Natasha*. I recently found your YouTube channel. I have a question, well a few, if you don't mind my asking.

Let's just say hypothetically, that your spouse was unfaithful and hid his adultery for years would your submission and honor look different? Let's say he hid an almost 20 year pornography addiction and several adultries would dealing with discontentment look the same as you describe in your videos? Let's just assume that you were a stay at home wife, homeschooling 6 children, and haven't worked in over 17 years. What would you do? What would you do when living with a husband who constantly lies to you and claims he is done with his sinful lifestyle, yet every time you look around he is back at it again? The same man is very religious, reads the Word and pretends to follow God. Yet, won't let go of the love of the world.

Just wondering

Thanks and God bless you and your family. I really enjoy your videos.

Hey!

Since you said you have seen my videos, I assume you know I am very transparent about my sin and that I speak very plainly. That said, I assume you already know a bit of what I will say...so prepare your heart because I am CERTAIN no one you know will speak this plainly to you.

First of all, it seems that this woman is a believer, able to judge those who break God's commands. When the Bible gave instructions on the 2 reasons for divorce, one being adultery, why didn't she, the believer, obey God and divorce him? I suspect she wants to stay married for her own reasons, which may include the fact that she is a homemaker and doesn't earn money. So, just curious, why do we expect God to bless our situation when He gave us a way out but we refused to take it? Love, security, the honor of not being a single mom causes many women to stay...I understand.

Also, I'm interested in hearing about her sin. I am always fascinated when women forget to mention their list of sin. Because we both know she has a lot, it's just that her "righteousness" hates specific things and is, maybe, casual about the "lesser" sins. The Bible also says that love keeps no record of being wronged. But she definitely does. So that's 2 sins for her so far. What else? She seems to think that her obedience to God (the submission He requires) is optional if her husband is in sin...but it's not. As long as she is still married, she owes her obedience and submission to GOD. So she shows partiality as well. So we are up to 3 sins for this "hypothetical" woman. I wonder what sins her children and husband would point out as well?

Because she is a believer, she can rightly see that her husband is an unredeemed sinner, because no one of God PRACTICES sin, which he does. So in 1 Peter 3 when Paul says you MAY "win him without words", has she perfected her quietness & respect? Because sinners will sin and sinners will lie about following Christ... but SHE knows better. So she is to treat him like the sinner he is & refuse to treat him like a joint heir in Christ. Because that is what the Bible instructs us to do.

I'm not trying to jump on her back but I believe we women need someone to show us our real selves.

So the choices are hers: she leaves and earns her own living or she stays and lives a life of quiet submission to the Lord and let Him deal with her unbelieving husband. Remember, he's making a fool out of a daughter of the Most High, who will judge him for that. Many faithful believers have suffered for Christ's sake...maybe her marriage is her place of testing. Will SHE be faithful in serving the Lord?

Your servant in Christ,

Jacqueline

Her Final Reply:

Thank you for your godly counsel and wisdom. You are absolutely correct that no one has ever put it to me this way before.

I have asked my share of people with a rage of responses. One counselor told me that I should be thankful that my husband finally admitted (in part) to his years of adultery. She even said I should be happy for him that now he does not have to be under the weight of that secret anymore.

One person stated, as long as he works and is not physically harming me then I need to deal with it. "What options do you have with six children and no job?" My question is, does that include STDs?

Why don't I leave? I think it's fear of so many things. Part of me says to walk away because the pain feels unbearable. The other half feels stuck.

Well, when I'm hurt, my list of sins can get pretty long. I use to be extremely angry and would use my words to show it. I grew up being taught not to allow others to "punk" me. In the past I didn't know how to handle my hurt, so I would lash out. Of course it never helped. If I'm honest about how I feel about him and my thoughts towards him, they are not goldy at all. My cup is overflowing with hurt and anger. I'm the queen of keeping a record of wrongs. I try not to show it because i don't want the children discouraged.

One of my teen daughters said that all she wants is a dad who loves her mom. Her heart is so broken.

I don't argue or fight anymore. I thought it was a change God was doing in my heart. Honestly, I think it's more discouragement and I just don't have any fight left.

I will have to read your reply several times and allow it to sink in. I'm the type of person who needs to process things and run them over in my mind a million times before I figure out what to do with it.