When No One Speaks Up: Why Older Women Must Learn to Correct in Love

I remember sitting in a car with a group of professing Christian women early in my walk with the Lord. I was a new believer—zealous, passionate, and completely green. Full of boldness, but with no wisdom. Excited about God, but still shaped by the thinking of the world. And I blurted out with conviction, “I think God should want for me what I want for myself.”

Not a single woman in that car corrected me.

No rebuke. No gentle pushback. Not even a raised eyebrow.

They just nodded, or smiled, or sat in silence. And that silence spoke volumes. It said: “You’re fine. What you said is fine. There’s nothing wrong here.”

But oh, how wrong I was.

Why Don’t We Speak Up?

That moment comes to mind often—not because I’m still embarrassed by what I said (praise God for growth!), but because I still wonder: why didn’t any of those older women say something?

Now that I’m an older woman myself, I think I know.

Correction is uncomfortable.

We don’t want to seem rude.
We don’t want to offend.
We don’t want to be “that woman” who’s always pointing out what’s wrong.
We don’t want to lose the friendship or seem too intense.

So we stay quiet.
We smile and nod.

We pray privately that “God would show her,” all the while missing the fact that God put us there to be the one who shows her.

Real Love Confronts

If we’re going to take Titus 2 seriously, then we must take our duty to teach what is good seriously. And teaching what is good includes lovingly correcting what is not.

The Titus 2 woman is called to train younger women—not just befriend them, not just sympathize with them, not just laugh with them over coffee—but train them. That means correction is part of the job.

We are not truly loving women if we watch them walk in error and stay silent.

Proverbs 27:6 says,
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

The world wants to give each other kisses—flattery, silence, approval—but the older Christian woman must be faithful enough to give a wound when necessary. And that wound, when it comes from the Word of God and the Spirit of God, will heal far more than it hurts.

What Holds Us Back?

Let’s just name the roadblocks that keep us from speaking up:

1. Fear of conflict.
We’ve been trained to keep the peace at all costs. But peacemaking in Scripture doesn’t mean silence—it means truth spoken in love.

2. Lack of confidence in Scripture.
Sometimes we don’t speak up because we aren’t sure what to say. We haven’t studied the Word deeply enough to be ready. That’s a discipleship problem—and it’s fixable. Open your Bible. Know your sword.

3. Over-identifying with the sinner.
We remember how messy we were, so we think, “Who am I to say anything?” But you’re not correcting from your authority. You’re pointing to God’s.

4. Fear of being disliked.
Let’s be honest—we like being liked. Correction feels risky. But obedience to God is far more important than being liked by man.

Let Love Fuel Your Boldness

Here’s what I’ve learned: the older woman who corrects in love is not a nag—she’s a gift.

And the younger woman might bristle in the moment. She might cry. She might pull back. But if you do it right—humbly, biblically, prayerfully—she will thank you one day. Because the Word of God does not return void, and the wounds of a righteous woman are tools of the Holy Spirit in the life of another soul.

It may be hard. It may cost you. But it is necessary.

So, What Can We Do?

Let’s resolve to be the kind of women who are:

• Rooted in the Word so we speak truth with confidence

• Led by the Spirit so we speak with grace and not pride

• Motivated by love so we speak with tears, not superiority

• Committed to obedience so we speak, even when it’s hard

We don’t need to chase every error. We’re not the holiness police. But we are called to disciple. And discipleship includes correction.

The next time a younger woman says something dangerous or unbiblical, don’t sit silently like those women did in that car with me years ago.

Speak up.

Speak life.

Speak Scripture.

Speak the truth in love, because your words could be the very means God uses to set her feet back on the narrow path.

Scripture to Meditate On:

Galatians 6:1 — “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”

Titus 2:3-5 — “The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior… teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women…”

2 Timothy 3:16 — “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.”

Let’s not be afraid to correct—because our silence may cost more than we know.

Let’s be faithful Titus 2 women, training others with truth and love.

— Jacqueline, the Unimportant Homemaker